London and Life
as i read more about the London bombings and the shooting of an innocent man on Friday, i get more and more worried about our world.
giving the benefit of the doubt here, the shooting seemed to be motivated by intense fear and suspicion — on a warm summer day a man in a heavy jacket that could conceal a bomb, running away from plainclothes cops, and the chance that he could detonate the bomb even though he was face down on the ground — and that is the most tragic part of it all.
now that we are at the point here in NYC where we live with fear and suspicion and a “heightened sense of alertness” every day, is there any way back? is it ridiculous to want to live the way we did before 9/11 when we worried only about “bad neighborhoods?”
were we just a nation-child, naive and oblivious to the dangers in the world all this time? are we now grown up, as a nation in the world, and finally facing the reality that people in so many other nations have lived with for generations?
is there no going back? is this it?
i do have a child on the way. in fact, due about the anniversary of 9/11. i am so looking forward to this baby, and want him or her to laugh freely, live openly and seek comfort and love from as many people as he or she meets. but i already know that i’ll be worry-wort — it’s in my nature — and might become overprotective.
we’re all finding our way around a new world these days. as a soon-to-be mother, i’ll be finding my way around it with a sense of responsibility for a vulnerable, new little life. one that needs to be nurtured and supported, but also toughened and street-smart.
it’s a heavy responsibility.
i just realized that my pensiveness today is about something more. today i also talked with a mom whose 20-year-old son is going to begin his second tour of duty in iraq sometime in september. she is remarkably composed about it, and although ambivalent about the war in iraq she said that she believes that all things happen for a reason. my thoughts will be with her, her entire family and her son — who is luke’s cousin. Be safe, Timmy.
You ask a number of questions in this posting. I don’t know if they were meant rhetorically or not, but here are my personal answers, which were formed after noting the damage that overprotective families and governments almost invariably cause:
> is it ridiculous to want to live the way we did
> before 9/11 when we worried only about “bad
> neighborhoods?”
No, it is good and natural desire.
> were we just a nation-child, naive and oblivious
> to the dangers in the world all this time?
Perhaps so, but we had power and influence that no child has.
> are we now grown up, as a nation in the world,
> and finally facing the reality that people in so
> many other nations have lived with for
> generations?
Hardly. It seems to me that we are more like the adolescent bully, whose greed or insecurities about acheiving and being accepted lead him/her to lash out at others, thereby making everyone’s life worse. That’s not saying other nations are necessarily better. The “terrorists” (less powerful people willing to use life-ending force) are bullies too. It’s simply saying that it’s time to mature and face our fears.
> is there no going back? is this it?
It seems to me that for any of us to live as free and happy people, we have to be willing to accept risks. We have to realize that we or our loved ones may be literally, physically torn apart by the hatred of others, and then we have to make the decision not to overreact; not to allow our values and lives to be changed because of that.
If I could be blown up instead of you or Luke or your child, I certainly would, but it’s unlikely that I’ll get to make that choice. However, we all can choose to accept the risk of going on living joyously in a world where that might happen (just like we did before we realized) over the risk of living in a world where we might be shot, detained or searched without good cause.
Children need to be allowed to learn to assess risks on their own in order to become wise adults. Try to think about the consequences of each choice your child has to face, not to be over-protective when the potential to learn outweighs the risk. Our nation has a lot of learning to do.
Comment by Esekla — July 25, 2005 @ 4:27 pm