as i read more about the London bombings and the shooting of an innocent man on Friday, i get more and more worried about our world.
giving the benefit of the doubt here, the shooting seemed to be motivated by intense fear and suspicion — on a warm summer day a man in a heavy jacket that could conceal a bomb, running away from plainclothes cops, and the chance that he could detonate the bomb even though he was face down on the ground — and that is the most tragic part of it all.
now that we are at the point here in NYC where we live with fear and suspicion and a “heightened sense of alertness” every day, is there any way back? is it ridiculous to want to live the way we did before 9/11 when we worried only about “bad neighborhoods?”
were we just a nation-child, naive and oblivious to the dangers in the world all this time? are we now grown up, as a nation in the world, and finally facing the reality that people in so many other nations have lived with for generations?
is there no going back? is this it?
i do have a child on the way. in fact, due about the anniversary of 9/11. i am so looking forward to this baby, and want him or her to laugh freely, live openly and seek comfort and love from as many people as he or she meets. but i already know that i’ll be worry-wort — it’s in my nature — and might become overprotective.
we’re all finding our way around a new world these days. as a soon-to-be mother, i’ll be finding my way around it with a sense of responsibility for a vulnerable, new little life. one that needs to be nurtured and supported, but also toughened and street-smart.
it’s a heavy responsibility.
i just realized that my pensiveness today is about something more. today i also talked with a mom whose 20-year-old son is going to begin his second tour of duty in iraq sometime in september. she is remarkably composed about it, and although ambivalent about the war in iraq she said that she believes that all things happen for a reason. my thoughts will be with her, her entire family and her son — who is luke’s cousin. Be safe, Timmy.