kendall asked me whether i was feeling the nesting instinct a few months ago, and i wasn’t sure at the time whether i was, but i must be because i tortured luke for an entire day to brave new york city weekend traffic to buy storage type stuff at the new jersey ikea.
i think we’ll not be going back there anymore! it was madness getting there and we arrived with just an hour and a half before it closed. yuck! our dinner that night was a pizza pocket that had been sitting in a warming tray all day, eaten while sitting on a stiff wooden bench waiting for someone to call our name. the worst part is i don’t even know if what we bought will fit the tight little space we have for it.
today, however, luke went to the beach and i stayed in our overheated little apartment. i fed the plants and herbs plant food to see if our jalapeno plant will actually bear fruit. then i got some supplies and began to work on the kitchen table mosaic that i’ve been planning for months and months. i made a little headway today and i think that’s all i needed — i’ve had just enough of a taste of how potentially beautiful it will be to become hooked on getting it finished.
the basic idea for the mosaic is to take design cues from the old new york subway station mosaics — particularly those on the Lexington line. there usually is a central shape — a hexagon, diamond or circle with the number of the station inside it, and then fields of mottled color bordered by a meander. i am sure that description was entirely confusing, so take a look at the photos i’m using for inspiration:
The 86th St. mosaic on the Lexington Line
Detail of Grand Central Station mosaic
The 59th St. mosaic on the Lexington Line
anyway, instead of a number (although luke and i considered a number, initials or a symbol for the central image), we decided a while ago to have a lotus flower. i pored through online images for hours to find one that i liked. the one i finally decided on came from an ancient, threadbare tapestry from china. i did a freehand drawing of it, then had luke scan it and enlarge it to a size that would work proportionally on our tabletop. that’s the stencil i’m working from to make the mosaic. it’s kind of fun to use technology to help along a craft project!
so, we’ll see how it goes! i’ll post pictures when i’m done!
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this morning when i woke up i had an experience i wouldn’t wish on anyone else on this planet: my entire right leg from the knee down cramped up. first it was just the calf and the toes. that i’m used to because i get them nearly every morning now.
but then, the shin seized up! i didn’t even realize there was a muscle there! what could i do? if you think about it, whatever would relieve the calf muscle was going to make the shin muscle cramp more, and vice versa.
at this point, though, i’m so used to leg cramps that i just walked around until i couldn’t feel it anymore. luke rubbed my leg, too. that helped!
on a happier note, i think i’m on happy hormones. i’ve been really happy for the last week or so now. i don’t know if it is just having spent the weekend with my family after a long period of time when we haven’t all been together in one place, or if it’s my hormones. but happy is definitely how i’d describe myself lately!
spent the weekend in chicago where both of my brothers have been living for the past two years. namgi was graduating from kellogg so we were there to celebrate with him and to see wonki and eunice’s new home there. it was a whirlwind visit but so enjoyable. i hadn’t realized how long it’s been since we were all together as one big family. i guess since luke and i got married last august.
neither of my brothers had seen me pregnant, so it was fun to share with them the whole belly thing. namgi’s first words to me were, You look funny!
wonki touched my belly a lot. huckleberry wasn’t his or her (i’m hedging my bets more and more on his/her sex as we get closer!) usual active self for some reason, i think it may have been the irregularity of our meals and the traveling and i was also a bit dehydrated. anyway, i managed to let wonki feel a slight kick, but nothing like the soccer kicks huckleberry usually does. huckleberry was shy, i guess!
i showed them my incredible shrinking belly button. no photos can do my belly button justice, you just have to imagine what it must look like when a belly button starts to constrict and you can barely see an indentation anymore. it’s possible i’ll have an outie soon!
leaving chicago was bittersweet. the next time we see wonki and eunice the baby will be born already, so they won’t see the whole evolution of the pregnancy. i guess it’s a necessary side effect of progress, that we are mobile people who come from far away places and meet and settle down somewhere far from our loved ones, but i’ve never felt the negative aspects of that as keenly as i do now.
but i should count my blessings. we’re all healthy and able to afford travel to visit each other. and namgi and youkyung are moving to new jersey this week in fact, so we’ll be close enough to see each other as often as we can motivate ourselves to commute.
anyway, this isn’t the most eloquent entry, i’m tired and need to sleep. but i just wanted to document how i’m still feeling really happy after spending the weekend with the whole family unit, mom and dad, brothers and sisters-in-law, all in one place and everyone doing really well.
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i had my 28-week visit with the midwives today.
amanda is my favorite of the four midwives. i suspect that could be because she was the first one we met in the practice as all of them are really great. i’ve decided that in almost all situations, multiple choice quizzes especially, i am biased towards the first option (the new backpage of the new yorker with the cartoon captions confirms this. i always like the first one best!). the whole practice in general inspires so much confidence in me that we made the right decision for us in choosing the midwife option over an ob-gyn.
i don’t know what made the visit so enjoyable today, maybe it’s because little huck is becoming so real to us, and his or her own person. amanda tried to figure out where he was hanging out in my belly, prompted by luke, and she decided on an orientation just by feeling around with her hands. then she placed the doppler that amplifies the baby’s heartbeat against the part of my belly where the baby’s chest would most likely be given the orientation. well, what do you know? the baby’s heartbeat was clear on the other side! she decided then that what she thought was his or her little head was actually his or her little bottom! and what had kicked her hand was not his or her arm, but a leg.
she said he was an active baby, and that made us really happy. he’s moving around like a curious explorer, an adventurer. like his namesake, huckleberry finn.
apparently last night i fell asleep so deeply that i snored. luke came to bed after i was already in this state and placed his hand on my belly to feel close to huck. he said it was amazing to feel how much he moved and moved, especially when i’m not awake. it really takes a moment to wrap your head around the fact that already, at this age when huckleberry is still dependent on me for his life and well-being, he still exerts complete independence over his actions. this is a lesson i’m sure i will be reminded of many many times over the years. huckleberry, whatever he or she is eventually named, will be his or her own person, not an extension of me, or of luke, but inspired by both of us and utterly original.
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OK, it’s a little late to be talking publicly about my pregnancy for the first time here since i’m already six months along, but better late…
This evening as I was going to the gym, I waited at a corner for the traffic light. I took this moment to put on my jacket as it was getting cold so I must have been arching slightly and showing my belly at its fullest to the passing cars.
Anyway, a cabbie came to a rolling stop in front of me, leaned out his window and pointed at my belly emphatically. “I think it’s a boy,” he said declaratively and authoritatively, not even pausing to smile. Then he pursed his lips, nodded for emphasis, and hit the accelerator.
So, I guess I’m having a boy.