I have to make a confession — one that will disappoint feminists–even though I count myself among them–and probably even some of my friends!

I sometimes — not most of the time! — like getting flattering comments from the random men who for reasons I’m not going to try to analyze here, like to express out loud their opinions.

Today I was on the NYU campus heading to interview a young law student who won an award for her public interest work. Just outside the building, a bicycle messenger said, in a very loud voice, “Asian girl, man, she’s fly. She’s got it going on with her cap on backwards and everything.” (actually, i think wearing my kangol cap backwards is so 1999, but it just looks better that way on my face so i keep doing it.)

As is my usual policy, I completely ignored him. And then, we both ended up in front of the security guard, checking in. The messenger had been talking nonstop the entire time I was in his presence, and I won’t repeat everything he said because frankly, it would give you the impression that he might actually be off his rocker, and that kind of ruins the story. Nothing obscene or sexual, though, so don’t go there!

So, he places this box on the counter and says he’s delivering it to someone in the building. The security guard replies that he has the wrong building. Then the messenger says, “That Asian girl is so beautiful she got me going to the wrong building!”

At which point, I decided to break my policy of silence.

“I confused you?” I said, milking the moment.

“You did, you look so good!”

I smiled, and the security guard smiled. And thankfully, the story ends here.

**********************************

Not a couple hours after the street-talking incident, I got an email from the Asian-American Journalists Association listserv breaking the news that Iris Chang was found dead in her car in San Jose. She was 36. According to the authorities, the cause was a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Iris Chang was the author of the best-selling and important The Rape of Nanking, which describes and analyzes the atrocities of the Japanese during their 1930s occupation of China (for the record, though not a massacre, the Japanese also enslaved and programmatically raped thousands of Korean women — called Comfort Women — during the same period and into the ’40s).

I cannot claim to understand depression — given as the probable reason for the suicide. What can one say? I felt put in my place — that life is something to treasure. I cannot imagine the hopelessness and depths of despair that would cause someone so talented, successful and the mother of a two-year-old, to take her own life.

I hope she has found peace.

A scholarship has been established by her family at the University of
Illinois, Campaigne-Urbana in honor of Iris.

The address is University of Illinois Foundation
Attn: Jeff Roley
1305 West Green Street
Urbana, IL 61801-2962

Make Checks payable to:
University of Illinois Foundation
In the memo field: Iris Chang Scholarship Fund

Also a scholarship will be established in Nanjing, China by the Global
Alliance for Preserving the History of WW II in Asia in memory of Iris
Chang, the great warrior for justice and peace.

Contact:
An Ping
Director, Public Relations
Tel: 212-371-6565
ping_an@committee100.org