I Don’t Like Mondays
I woke up today with a vague sense of foreboding. I didn’t know what was wrong. Could it be my annual post-Oscars thing, when I wake up realizing that I will never walk the red carpet, have the camera pan over to me as I laugh politely at Billy Crystal jokes, and tears streaming down my face declare to the world that I can’t believe I’m standing here holding this gold statue, but give me a sec, I think I have my speech memorized?
No, that wasn’t it.
I found the answer in this week’s New York magazine. The 6+ page cover story asked, “Are You Bipolar?” Well, I’m not. Great! More evidence that I am not on the cutting edge. Another fad passing me by. EVERYONE in New York is bipolar.
But seriously, I learned that if I were bipolar, I could be “creative, exuberant, impulsive, passionate about shopping and sex.” That’s the problem! I’m not bipolar.
It’s really not something I can do anything about, this not-bipolar thing. It must be what kept me from making headway on my writing today. Surely, it’s what kept me from buying those gorgeous white-and-silver-striped go-go boots that were on sale, ON SALE! at Sacco.
Whoa. If only someone had told me years ago that I wasn’t bipolar, I wouldn’t have tried to be a writer!
p.s. There is a brilliant haiku blog on the Oscars — the Bill Murray/Precious one particularly.
Alas, I think I’m just polar, too. Maybe together we can be bipolar….
Comment by Luke — March 2, 2004 @ 10:19 am
Where do you get a second pole?
Comment by Monica — March 5, 2004 @ 4:37 pm
I think maybe i’ve joined this conversation late . . . My uncle John was a Pole, but i don’t think he was bi - He seemed to be very heterosexual to me . . . but then i was just a kid - an altar boy — which qualifies me to speak about the fading popularity of the Catholic Church (from yr last entry)
I’ll say this about that — The Catholic Church began to lose its relevancy at a quicker pace because of television - and the amount of info about life that could be communicated quickly. Of course marijuana and the Civil Rights movement and the feminist movement all contributed to its downfall. I don’t think their stance on gay marriage will encourage any gay people to join (except for those in the closet that become priests or nuns.)
Comment by mike melia — March 13, 2004 @ 2:13 am
Does bipolar mean North and South? Actually, I suspect that some of my best friends are bipolar. I like them anyway.
Comment by Melanie — March 23, 2004 @ 8:40 pm